So I weighed myself.
I weigh, as of this morning, 200.1 lbs.
Which is...good.
"..." means, well what it looks like: that I wish it was more, that I wish it was 199 etc. Also, when I realized that I was 207.0 at the end of April 30th, I felt like I should have lost more.
BUT.
I only started to really track my exercise on May 13th, and also noticing the differences in my weight which means that I was probably around the same (207) at that time. Therefore, it doesn't make sense for me to get bent out of shape about it.
Onwards and upwards, as they say.
Therefore, I need to plan my goals for the following months. Realistically, losing 40 pounds should take me about 4 months at 10 lbs a month. I also feel like, the way I was exercising I should have lost more but that is hard to reconcile with the fact that I am 200 lbs which is the lightest I have been in years, literally. Also I am a little bloated from my period which is taking forever to come and from the fact that I haven't "gone" to the bathroom all day today which can also affect weight loss.
More important than all of that is the fact that I need to fix my sleep schedule if I am to lose some actual weight because I am not able to take advantage of all the NEAT calories I could be losing. That is the problem. Anyway, my goals for this summer:
I will be travelling for the rest of June and July but I am hoping to keep on goal:
June - it is 6th June today so I intend to still lose 10 lbs by the end of this month and be at 190.
July - because I will be busy travelling across the ocean it will be harder to exercise but i will be doing a lot of physical activity so I am going to set the goal at 10 lbs again - so I should be at 180.
August is when I get into gear and I will want to work harder than even before school starts. I'm going to set the goal at 12 pounds = 168. I intend fully to get there but it is so hard to imagine what that will be like, seeing as I haven't been that weight since around 2006 - a full 8 years ago when I was a wee baby.
The number is so useless. It does nothing at all. It doesn't help me at all. In fact it just takes everything away from my progress. I am happy being without the scale and I am going to keep it that way. So far I have managed just fine - I have lost 7 lbs, I am at my lowest weight in a long time and I am in Onederland - but none of that matters. It doesn't change what's in the mirror and what I see with my own eyes. I could have very likely (and I have) gained muscle which the scale does not reflect. I know I am getting stronger which is why I am going up in strength and the 10 lb weights are not heavy enough for failure. So that's a win too.
So.
I am going to continue NOT weighing myself and just doing what I am doing. Living, exercising, eating clean and enjoying my life. I am not going to get hung up on the number because the number is useless. I refuse to do so.
I am going to keep working out as hard as I have been, it is a part of my life right now and I intend to keep it that way. I am going to look amazing at the parties I am going to and I am going to have an amazing experience during my overseas excursions. And I am going to keep going and keep working hard and smart.
