My mom was looking at me today intently. I asked her multiple times why she was staring at me and she said, basically, "there is a huge difference," and then, "I pray to God that He continues to help you keep it up." It made me really happy. Though I am not religious, like at all, I was happy that my mom was finally able to see a change. What my parents think matters a lot to me and sometimes their snarky comments about my weight matter too much. Just a couple of days ago my dad said, "you should be losing lots." I told him about the concept of losing it the safe and healthy way which should result in a 1-2 lbs loss/week. He was really surprised. Now, maybe, it's clear where I get my impatience (in weight loss) from. But I am feeling much more patient now. That feeling that I am crazy for thinking there is a difference between now and when I starting exercising is not just in my head. Things are changing. I am getting smaller and feeling big and bold.
School starts next week and I am nervous about managing all this on my plate. The driving is shaky, while the weight loss is going good and becoming more and more a part of my lifestyle everyday, I am all too aware of how little it takes to fall off the wagon. I don't feel like I am just keeping it together but I am also not managing everything super-well. I must get organized and start doing.
I am proud of myself for today, too. While the driving lesson didn't go as I had planned I am learning to face my fears, slowly. I also worked out for 20 mins. at 3 mph on the treadmill before my Insanity workout (though my right hip started to hurt). I also ate okay, though I didn't eat breakfast because I was too nervous before my lesson. I didn't eat for hours afterwards dinnertime and then had another small meal after my workout.
I tried on the dress yesterday that I will be wearing in LA, which hugs my curved but will also require spanx. I put it on yesterday and I think my muffin top has gone down a bit. I think my stomach needs to be a little flatter so I don't feel the need to suck in. I wonder if I can continue to shrink in girth for another week. In any case I am excited in even attempting to wear dresses (before last year I hadn't worn a dress for about 7 (?) years). Again, facing some fears. Considering that was the "theme" of this summer's goals, I am proud for trying, proud of the process.
