I ate a fast food burger today. I was okay with it. It was my only meal of the day and that's not good either but I didn't feel like eating anything after and I had cravings at night but I decided not to eat.
I have thought more and more about my goals and while a part of me is very eager to lose all the weight very quickly but another part of me just wants to take it easy and still live. Now that stuff is starting back up - like school and family coming to stay, I am trying to take it easy on myself. I wasn't mad about eating poorly today, though it is not in line with my normal eating but I don't want to feel bad about it in maintenance either so it only make sense to just let it go and get back to eating healthy right away.
The other thing is, I have realized that when school starts for real I may not have to take too many courses so I will have a lot of free time. I don't have to think about running into a deadline in the form of a wall. I want to do this for me so I have to respect myself. I want to make fitness a priority. Running is a priority. My groin was hurting today and my hip hurt yesterday but that's a bit of an excuse. Just gotta back to it tomorrow.
I just need to get into a rhythm of working out in the morning before I do anything else. It's hard though but I have done it before and it did feel good. I think I need to go low carb this week to balance out all the crap I've been eating. Carbs and me = no bueno. So it'll be about 4 days of salads and proteins which is fine by me. I have some lentil soup and I'll make another soup later this week. But I want to continue with carbs next week because of the good results I had gotten before last weekend. Just trying to balance out.
The other reason I don't mind slow weight loss is because of loose skin. I don't want any and I know that if I starved myself and worked out like crazy I would have it. I still want to lose about 3 lbs, because I have so much to lose. I am still disappointed that I am not under 200 yet. But, I should have expected this to happen. It is a big obstacle for me. I have never lost 40 lbs before and I haven't been under 200 for about 4-5 years. But enough is enough. I will be under 200 lbs by Monday. That is the goal that I am working towards. I think I can do it.
To lose 5 lbs in 4 days (2 of which, at least, is water weight from the increased sodium), I will have to workout really hard but I want to do it. I want to get under 200 already. After all I have another 40 lbs to lose for my first goal. Most importantly, I am done with junk/processed food for the whole rest of the year. I just don't want to eat anymore fast food, diet pop, or any plastic bag products like chips or cookies.
It is time to kick this into high gear. I want to be down to 128 by December which means a lot of hard work but it is certainly doable if I workout consistently and exercise everyday. The only think in my way is my fear that even working hard will not get me results which is not true. If I do it right it will work, and if it doesn't I will figure it out and modify.
